The curator of Kindle Cover Disasters soils his search history to bring us a list of this Halloween’s scariest book titles.
1. Vampire in the Outfield, by Walter Knight
“Mr Knight, when we asked you to write a book about a vampire bat…”
2. Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes, by Carlton Mellick
3. Taken by the Weremoose, by Tabatha Austin
Werewolves are soooo last century.
4. Not Before Time, by John Brunner
♫ Tiptoeing through the teeth fields ♫
5. Strange Relations, by Philip Jose Farmer
“I had that dream again…”
6. Vanitas, by S.P. Somtow
I wonder if he’s singing Fangs for the Memories. Aha hahah hahaha ahhahahaha hahahaha hahahahahah! Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
7. The Spawn of Cthulhu, by H.P. Lovecraft
H.P. to publisher: “…and just so we’re absolutely clear, I want the cover to radiate absolute menace. Promise you won’t f*ck me on this one.”
8. Archie Vv. Predator, by Dark Horse Comics
The greatest Archie crossover since the time he met The Punisher.
9. Shock Treatments, by David Whitehead
Cher’s looking better than ever.
10. Tentacles of Trump, by Zed Crut
“You know I’m automatically attracted to subterranean cosmic entities — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”
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