Star Wars is about to blaze across our cinema screens once again! I have no doubt that The Force Awakens will smash every record going, making anything Marvel has had to offer in recent years its bitch. People all over the world are frothing at the mouth in anticipation, every last scrap of information pounced on and devoured. So what I’m about to say may not make me the most popular person in the world:
Star Wars? Nyeh. Not a fan.
I know. I’M A MONSTER.
I just don’t get the wide-spread love for all things Star Wars. I’m one of those sods who grumble-grumbles when it’s block-voted in by fans to top whatever ‘Best Film Ever’, or ‘Best Sci-fi Moves Of All Time!!!’ list is doing the rounds that week.
Oh, I wasn’t always this way. When I was but a child, I LOVED me some Wars (as us COOL kids referred to it as). I watched and re-watched every time they hit my TV. I collected the toys, I even had an At-At Walker. Yeah. The big dog looking mutha-fudger. I bloody loved Star Wars. And then, at some point, I just didn’t. I recall a time at university, someone put A New Hope on and we all sat about watching it, and I realised about half-way through that I was bored. BORED. Bored, watching Star Wars. I just didn’t care about it.
I’m not one of those smug turds who say things like ‘I grew out of it’ *spits*. I still love Doctor Who, The Goonies and laughing at farts. I’m not here too poo-poo (heh, poo) (see, I told you I hadn’t grown up) Star Wars, because why should I try and tear down something millions of people love? What kind of a jerk-hole would that make me?
No, this is entirely my own problem. I just don’t feel the joy when it comes to the Wars.
Oh you better believe five-year-old me is giving me some serious stink-eye right about now.
What beloved piece of pop culture doesn’t spin YOUR nipples? Let us know!